The other day I watched the movie Bridge of Spies starring Tom Hanks playing attorney James Donovan who defended Rudolf Abel, a Russian spy played by Mark Rylance.  I highly recommend the movie if you have not seen.  Anyway, Hanks’ character asks his client a few times throughout the movie, “do you ever worry?” and his client’s response is always, “would it help?”  It got me thinking about how much we worry in general and how it really doesn’t help.  For the past week I’ve been worrying myself because I have been away from my family on a business trip and my wife is on the same boat so our children are spending extra time with grandma.  As every parent knows, it’s hard not to worry about your children when you’re away from them, especially so far.

So, why do we worry? Love, fear, hate, guilt and so many other reasons.  We worry about our family, our friends, our spouse, our children, mom, dad, brothers, and sisters.  We worry about our careers, our finances, our reputations, our safety and our security.  We worry about anything we can think of to include unlikely scenarios that have an extremely small chance of happening like the end of the world.  Can it happen? Yes.  Will it happen?  More than likely, you and I will not be around to find out.  Everyone worries.  Everyone gets that same horrible feeling of worry.

Worry gets the best of us at times.  It gets in the way of much of our progress and can potentially cause many more unnecessary problems or issues.  No one wants to worry.  It would be great if we could live a life free from worries, but chances are good that we aren’t going to.  Don’t worry, be happy right?  That is easier said than done.  So, if we can’t get rid of worry, what is there to do?

You can reduce your worry.  Reduce it so that it does not eat at you.  Here are 3 ways you can do just that.

Focus On What You Can Control


Worrying usually begins with the things that are completely out of our control.  We cannot control the weather and how it affects our timeline.  We cannot control other people’s emotions and there are so many more things in this world that are completely out of our control.  As a matter of fact, the only thing we are truly are in control of is our mind and the choices we make.  When you accept this truth, your worrying will dramatically be reduced.

Everyday that I was on my trip, I talked to my wife and kids.  Still, I was constantly thinking about the things that could go wrong while I was away.  This didn’t help me at all.  The fact is I couldn’t control anything back home. I was worrying myself with no real reason to worry because everything was fine.  Could something have gone wrong? Yes, but the same can happen even when I was there.  Had something actually happened then worrying would be legitimate.  It took me some reading and journaling to realize what the unnecessary stress I was putting on myself.

Keep Yourself Busy

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Keep your mind busy and keep your hands busy.  If you find yourself worrying too much then you need to get busy.  Staying busy can take your mind away from the very thing that has you worrying.  Basically, you’re distracting your mind from worry.  Some people throw themselves into work, others throw themselves into other projects.  If for some reason you can’t do either, then it’s time to find a hobby that you can get lost in.

During the time I was away, I was able to rid myself of the worry I was feeling by keeping myself busy.  Work, reading, writing, running and sightseeing were what kept my mind busy.  Doing so allowed me to relax and enjoy my time in a place that I had never been before.

Do Something Nice For Someone

Replace your worry with the thought of someone else.  Do something nice for someone without the expectation of something in return.  Help a friend move, volunteer someplace, or you can even write a handwritten letter to someone.  Never underestimate the power of a handwritten letter.  It’s always a great surprise to receive one of those in your mailbox.  The point is, while you’re doing something nice for someone else and/or helping them out, you’re also helping yourself.  Your mind is not longer focused on the worries that troubled you.  Your mind focuses on the immediate which is whatever you’re doing in the moment to help someone else.

Bottom Line

Worry is a feeling we’ll never get rid of completely, but we can dramatically reduce it.  Focus on what you can control, keep yourself busy and do something nice for someone else.




It’s easy to blame someone and anyone else for your failures. To say that it’s someone else’s fault that you’re not successful or you’re not in a position in life that you would like to be in is wrong. There should be no expectation for someone else to get you where you want to be. Your success is your responsibility and no one else’s.

You need to look in the mirror and figure out what it is that you’re doing and not doing that has you in the place you don’t want to be in. Then, you need to become the hero of your own story because no one is going to come and save you. You have to save yourself. Start working on yourself.  The funny thing is that once you get to helping yourself, that’s when the help comes. The world seems to want to help those that are helping themselves.

How many times have you seen a car on the side of the road with a flat tire and flashing lights? Plenty of times. Well, people don’t just pull over to see what’s wrong and help out. But, if you see someone jacking up the car, taking out a spare tire or taking a look under the hood, someone usually tends to stop and give a helping hand. Just because they see you trying to help yourself.

Life works the same way. Help yourself and help is likely to come your way. If you do nothing, if you make no effort, don’t expect to see anyone pull over to the side of the road to help you.



Everyone has problems and challenges in their lives. There is no questioning that. Problems spanning from gigantic end of the world problems to insignificant first world problems.

However, the only one that can determine how big or small that problem is, is the person that has the problem.

A problem that may seem like no big deal to you, may be crushing my world. So, big or small we all have problems. We can’t simply run away from our problems because they only grow if we do and eventually find us again. Sooner or later, we must face them. How we face these problems is what makes the difference on whether it will break you or make you.

Life has a sick curve ball and if you’re not ready for it, you’re going to strike out. Well, on this day last year, life threw me one of those wicked curve balls and I whiffed, shamefully striking out.

I wasn’t ready.

I had not put in the batting practice needed to hit the curve. But, this is where the problem breaks you or makes you.  You let it break you and run away or you let it make you as you stand and face it.  I didn’t let it break me although, it came close.

So, what did I do? I took my ass back to batting practice.  Batting practice means, I invested in myself, which is the greatest investment anyone can make.  Invest in yourself.

I did the things that were necessary to build myself back up and get back in the game. So the next time I was faced with a curveball, my bat was making contact.  The more batting practice you put in,  the bigger your bat grows making it easier to hit the curve.

What does that look like?

Well, it could be going back to the gym, going to school, learning a skill, learning a trade, doubling down on your work, reaching out for help, mending a broken relationship, prioritizing your health, etc.  All that batting practice is time devoted to improving your game, improving yourself so that you’re equipped and much more prepared to deal with life’s problems and challenges.

Because of that curve that nearly broke me, I’m a better husband, a better father and a better man. It’s taken a lot of work and tons of help, but I am better for it.  Don’t be afraid to get help either.  Don’t let your pride and ego get in the way of getting help that is needed.  No one gets to where they need to be without some kind of help.

Bottom Line

Don’t slack on your batting practice because life is one hell of a pitcher. Take care of your responsibilities and maybe more importantly, don’t forget to take care of yourself.

Do what is necessary to stay in the game or get back in. You’re not always going to hit a home run, but your batting average will improve.

Don’t be afraid to step up to the plate.


Often times we get caught up in the craziness of life and fail to take time to slow down and be present. We don’t slow down for the moments that we’re in and the moments pass without notice. Fast forward 5 or 10 years later, we look back and realize those moments that we took for granted are now the good old days that everyone talks about.  The gold old days that we desperately want back.

Everyday I pick up my kids from school and we drive home. It’s not a short drive and traffic isn’t exactly ideal. Any parent knows that 5 and 3 year olds that spend more than 5 minutes in a car seat can become unpleasant very quickly.

In years past I used the drive home as a time to wind down from the day and regain some energy. That is not the case these days. My kids ride with me of course and they can get cranky, scream, cry, shout, fight, argue and be extremely loud the entire car ride home. It can drive a person insane.

That doesn’t always happen though. When it does, it seems to last forever and seems like everyday, but it’s not. There are so many more days where all my kids want to do is talk my ear off, play with each other in the back, laugh at their jokes, laugh at my dad jokes, sing, and play “guess” games.

I’ll admit, sometimes I would get frustrated because I just wanted a quiet ride home. Then I realized what I was missing. There were some days that my wife picked the kids up from school and I rode home alone. Alone and in a quiet car. Then and there it hit me that I wanted nothing more than to have the kids in the back, kicking and screaming, playing and laughing, and just be there. I wanted those moments with them. Those fun and happy moments. Those loud and frustrating moments. I wanted it all because before you know it, they’ll be driving their own car and will no longer spend time in your car kicking, screaming, laughing, talking your ear off and being in those moments with you. As soon as we get home, the kids are off to play and do their thing.

The point to all of this is that you have to enjoy the ride. Good, bad, fun, frustrating, boring and memorable. You have to enjoy it all. Don’t simply look to the destination. Because that’s what life is. It’s a car ride home with the people you love. You have to take the good with the bad but the important part is that you’re together sharing all those collective moments. Because before you know it, you’ve arrived to you destination and everyone is off to do their thing.


It’s not a secret. It’s not some complicated formula or as a friend of mine puts it, it’s not rocket surgery. However, it is probably one of the most difficult things to do.

So what’s the one thing?

Don’t quit.

Simple, but not easy.

Giving up is easy. It means you no longer have to put yourself out there and risk judgement and embarrassment. It means you know longer have to feel the pain that you so feared. It means you no longer believe in yourself. Giving up is the easy way out. Giving up also opens you up to another form a pain. The pain of regret.

But not giving up, facing your fears, pushing yourself past the limits you thought you had, accomplishing things that once seemed impossible, that is truly something great. It is extremely difficult, but worth it and the reason why not everyone is successful. The kind of successful they wish to be.

“The one genius thing that we did is that we didn’t quit.” —Jay z

It’s crazy to think that Jay Z, with all his success and creative genius, that what he considers to be genius is the ability to keep going. The ability to not quit, even when everything and everyone is telling you to do so. He called it genius.

It’s a common theme that people tend to quit too soon and never realizes how close to success they were. Had they not quit and kept going, the success they wanted could have been theirs.

Bottom Line

If you believe in something, don’t give up. Don’t quit. Be relentless in pursuit of it.

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